People often have a very romanticized idea of writing: a novelist seated behind a sun-lit desk in Tuscany, staring at his beautiful neighbour as she walks through the olive grove… Wake up! In truth the lives of writers can be fairly humdrum, – as evidenced by that of award-winning novelist Michiel Heyns, who has some ideas about what life might be like if he wasn’t a writer. Find out what they are:
Thursday August 20: I leave my home in Somerset West at 8.50 for a reading group in Constantia. Heavy traffic on the N2 delays me, and I reach Constantia at 10.20. I squeeze my Golf in between three Mercs parked in the street. Walking up the drive, I count eight more Mercs, plus two in the garage of the host.
I am here to talk about my novel, Bodies Politic. I count 15 attendees and two copies of my novel. I talk for 40 minutes
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October 9th, 2009 @06:25 #
Says it all. Thanks, Michiel. But how wonderful you got 250 bucks!
October 9th, 2009 @09:55 #
Love it. Very dry, very droll.
At least you can have lunch at Groot Constantia though...
October 9th, 2009 @10:05 #
I loved this. Just did my own 250 words for a magazine. For no bucks.
October 9th, 2009 @10:55 #
I read this with great delight on Sunday, snorting with recognition. When I went to address a similar (quite possibly the same) group about my experience of editing a famous writer, it was Beemers, not Mercs, parked in the luxury close in Constantia. I was talking in tandem with a friend who had spent days preparing her presentation -- I had spent an hour on mine. Travel time and post-event chat over canapes included, the event soaked up a morning. We too were asked if the book under discussion was available in the library. Two ladies commented on how the expense of the book had put them off buying it, then we were each slipped envelopes containing R200.
A few weeks later, the hostess (who had original Laubschers and Kentridges on her walls) rang me, asking me to address them again. Would I please read X book and prepare a lecture for them? I calculated how long this would take me, totted up the hours at my regular rate, halved the total, and said "Certainly. My lecture fee will be R1000." There was a gasp of horror at the other end. "Oh, we couldn't possibly afford that!" I can't quite remember my response, but I fear I was genuinely rude.
They should have offered me lunch. At Groot Constantia.
October 9th, 2009 @12:05 #
Priceless article :)
October 9th, 2009 @12:50 #
Brilliant.
March 4th, 2010 @11:08 #
Michiel Heyns was my English Prof at Stellenbosch. We absolutely adored him, who wouldn't!
March 4th, 2010 @11:14 #
Did you see his tips on how to write, Annette?
http://readsa.book.co.za/blog/2010/03/03/how-to-write-tips-from-michiel-heyns/
March 5th, 2010 @11:28 #
Priceless! That's the best one so far.